I so agree with what Gilda Radner once said, “I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn’t itch.” I was the little kid who wanted all the tags cut out of clothes because they aggravated the life out of me. I used to say I was picky, but now I prefer to say I’m discriminating.

Cotton is my favorite fabric and thank you Mr. Levi Strauss for jeans. I don’t buy clothes if they’re so-so, they have to be great and must be comfortable. I don’t own anything wool unless it’s to be worn with something underneath it and I really don’t wear dresses. Back before I was so discriminating I owned wool dresses.

I research shoes before I buy. In high school I’d suffer for a month breaking in new Bass Weegins. I would resole and replace the heels several times before I’d go through the pain of new ones. I refuse to break in anything else.

My mom loved shoes and had a legal excuse for buying good ones. Most women wear B or medium width, but Mom wore AAAA and they were hard to find in anything but designer. When she got tired of shoes she gave them to Irene. They both wore the same size except Irene wore W for wide. She said that wasn’t a problem because she could stand wearing the narrow designer shoes just long enough for church. I guess she prayed the pastor wouldn’t preach too long.

I tried on some tall boots the other day. They met my criteria, comfortable and designer at a discount. But, when I checked them out in the full length mirror I resembled a tall jockey. I put on another pair with heels and looked like an aging lady of the streets. So I gave up and bought a pair of athletic shoes on sale.

They say you can tell a lot about someone by what she wears. So what do my flip-flops say?

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